The Life and Times of Duke Fluffington

Act 1: Arrival and our hero's first trial

Once upon a time, there was a hamster named Duke Fluffington, the first of his name.

 

He came from a long line of proud, fluffy hamsters.

Duke came to live with the Burtigans in Kensal Green, and there he presided over his land and house, 'Fluffington Manor'.

One day the Burtigans went on an adventure to France (without our young hero). He, instead, stayed with an old friend in Brixton. During his stay, Duke let himself out of his cage and went on his own adventure. Which soon became misadventure, and Duke became trapped in a rat trap.

Unperturbed, Duke dusted himself off and continued living, chuffing and eating many treats.

Chuffing

verb. To scuff up one's sawdust to make oneself a comfortable nesting-place or bed.

Act II: Our hero's second and third trials

Too many treats and not enough chewing left Duke with an unfortunate set of teeth. A visit to the vets courtesy of friends Stacey and Blair soon sorted that.

 

The Burtigans then set off on another adventure to Turkey. Within days, Stacey and Blair reported that Duke's eye was popping out of his head. Duke was not happy. A trip to the vet provided no certainty as to why this had happened. They tried to manually maneuver the eye back in. That didn't work and Duke was still not happy.

Lots of messaging back and forth narrowed the Burtigans' options down to one: wait until the next day and if he wasn't better, put him to sleep. No more suffering. That and the little critter was costing them a lot of money! The alternative was to have an operation to remove his eye which would cost £150.00 (the price of 15 hamsters), and no guarantee that he would make it through.

With heavy hearts, the Burtigans accepted that the mighty Duke had reached the end of his journey. But Duke Fluffington had other plans. A confident vet and sympathetic friends (who insisted on picking up some of the bill) made the decision to give the surgery a go. And gosh darn it, if he didn't pull through.

And so he lived to (mostly) see another day. Introducing, The Dastardly Duke! Survivor of rat traps, dental distress and major surgery.

Act III: Life and afterlife 

Incidentally we believe that Duke overheard our decision to put him to sleep and he started biting us a LOT harder.

Over dinner with our lovely friends one evening, we were discussing Duke and I lamented that I would never get to have another hamster again in New Zealand since there are no hamsters in the land of The Long White Cloud. Davide jokingly suggested that we should have him taxidermied one day. Everyone laughed except me - a genius idea! 

Life continued, Duke chuffed along merrily until one fateful day when Mike caught the flu. Sadly shortly after, so did the mighty Duke, and it finished him. I tenderly took him from his cage, wrapped him lovingly in paper towels, slid him in a Glad Zip Lock Bag and placed him gently in the freezer. For safe keeping. When a respectful amount of time had passed, I inquired about taxidermy. For the princely sum of £300, the prospect of bringing our friend home with us one day seemed suddenly out of reach! 

My 30th birthday rolled around and Mike had a present idea that he had to tell me in advance. I protested because I love surprises but he insisted, if I wasn't onboard, this wasn't going to happen. I conceded and Mike explained that he'd found a DIY mouse taxidermy class, contacted the teacher and she had agreed that we could BYO hamster! £30 each was a much more palatable price and we signed up.

Photo and instructions on How To Taxidermy Your Hamster are provided here, so you too can play along at home. 

Step 1: Thaw Your Hamster. 

Just enough so you can feel the skin slide. Tick.

 

Step 2: Slice and Dice

Step 3: Take it off! 

Step 4: Don't lose your head! 

Keep the skull intact.

Step 5: Rub a Dub Dub.

Step 6: Blow Dry

Step 7: Get Into Shape

Step 8: It's a Stitch Up! 

Step 9: Ta Da!

The transformation was complete! Duke and his new friend courtesy of Mike's handiwork, The Mouse, were immortalised forever (or however long a DIY-taxidermy job would last). I was delighted.  

We went on to have another lovely hamster, Lord Fredrick Fluffington (or Freddie) to carry on the proud heritage of dear Duke Fluffington.

 

But Duke Fluffington's story didn't end there, for we were yet to get him back to NZ! But that's a 'tail' for another day.